I’m Still Alive.
Barely.
The class has been kicking my butt and my brain feels like it's melting out of my ears, but I’m enjoying it…if that makes any sense. Figuring out how to make things function is an exciting and interesting process, needlessly to say I’m never bored anymore.
- How do you describe the feeling of Imposter Syndrome? When does it affect your most? Why?
I would describe it as having the ability to swim but still being scared of staying afloat while in the deep end. Going through the motions multiple times with the person that may have taught you but doubting your own ability once that person leaves the water.
Being a dancer most of my life, Imposter Syndrome is something I have become well acquainted with. On my own and in the studio I feel powerful and like I can do anything, my options for movement are limitless. Put me into an audition? Or on a stage for a big show? Here come the nerves.
“Will I be able to land that double?”
“What if I can't jump high today?”
Once there is someone else in the picture that I know is expecting something out of me is when I start doubting my skill. Why would this person ask ME about this? I’m not a professional, I’m not that great, Or that’s at least where my mind likes to take me. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much time I have put into something when those thoughts come intruding into my mind but all I have to do is reassure myself and once I get out of that “this isn’t me” mindset, it's smooth sailing.
2. What have you learned about the tech world that you are happy to know?
Friends, Community, Sharing, I was not aware of how open and accepting the tech world is. Diving into it myself I was expecting things to be hard and having to learn a lot of things on my own but after these first few weeks in class, I’ve found it doesn’t need to be that way.
People are willing to share answers to problems or even their own code and everyone learns from each other. With how connected we are with tech but how disconnected we are realistically I am glad to be becoming a part of such a welcoming industry.
3. Why is the way we talk to ourselves in our inner mind so important? What effect can it have on our well being?
It’s like what my mother use to always say to me. “SELF FULFILLED PROPHECY”. English isn’t her first language so you can see how to an eight-year-old that sounds like your mother is part of some weird cult.
She of course explained what she meant to me as I got older. If you are constantly telling your brain one thing about yourself you are going to believe it as truth. When in dance class if I had any inkling I may not be able to do something, my body would fail me and ultimately I would fail. Going at things head-on and telling myself “I got this” brings more success….9 out of 10 times.
I’m still not perfect >.>
4. What about this course is challenging you the most? How do you think that you are growing through it?
Javascript…
Javascript…
JAVASCRIPT!!!
I have nightmares. I try really hard but for some reason, it still has a hard time clicking in my brain. BUT- I’m much better than where I started. I have practiced a lot and have also invested in a couple of books outside of the course to help me understand it from a different view.
I have definitely improved, I have now gotten comfortable reading JavaScript code, I can discern most things we have gone over at least. Getting everything to function 100% is still a feat, but I am definitely heading in the right direction and will be studying more over the break.
5. How has podcast listening influenced the way that you think?
Podcasts are a great way to share information and learn. I have listened to various different casts over the year and I enjoy what everyone brings to the table.
Listening to someone speak is more enticing to me since words can be quite intimidating to read sometimes since they like to run around the page like meanies. I can listen while doing dishes or folding laundry and it has been encouraging a lot of mindful thinking. I find myself asking myself questions more often or speaking to myself about what I feel about a certain subject or how I felt it worked.
Class, Coding, Podcasts, they have all been changing the way I think in a large way.
6. What has your spare time looked like in comparison to what it looked like a year ago?
To be completely honest it isn't that much different. I’m always trying to cram time on the computer when I’m not at work or school or whatever I use to do. I think the only difference really is now I have the ability to spend 10 to 15 hours on my computer a day working and learning.
…and then I can play video games.
Win-Win.
